I bleed from the fall cause I fell again, why do I bleed? Is it my sin? Who I'm not has me beaten but who I am doesn't lose. Why is this the path I always choose? I want to be free and give all that I got so I have say goodbye to who I am and hello to who I am not,Who i am leaves me broken abandoned and lost but who im not shows great gain at this valuable cost, ill have to say goodbye to family and friends because ill be a new man when this transformation ends, i will kill who i am slowly without pause but this time ill be killing with legitimate cause,i will be reborn and learn how to feel, what God created around me is real, who knows where i am now who knows where ill be, but by his grace ill be set free. we need to discover dear who we really are if we ever want to get anywhere not near but far. im probably just talking to myself again, but here God sits with me holding my hand.My slate is clean my mind anew, but where do i go? what do i do? I have to trust now with all my heart that God will provide me with what i need to start. Baby steps as i was told once as my mentor has said, i hear the words crisp they echo in my head, give him my body my mind my heart and my soul, i realize now only he fills the hole,im physically drained and emotionally spent but yet somehow i feel content, he will provide me with what i need lest i put aside my coquettish greed. get rid of these shackles this balls and chains, let your love pour over me just like the rain. who i was was lost who i am now is found, here i come world im making the rounds,but remember the only way to get where i got, is to leave what i was and become what i was not.
--ZRWR
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Projections
This is kinda fun.
Welcome class sit down in your chair your about to get schooled. Hold your breathe while i make us all look like foold. now teach what you teach and ill hear your speech but now its my time to rise up and preach the gospel of the Lord this aint no stupid forward text on your phone you receive when your alone this is for real not fake like the way I feel. i fill myself with hate but its so irate that i find myself stuck from date to date i procrastinate subdued by my fate my pace is so slow i cant even breathe i need you to listen to my plea. Just trust in God and give him your life because lucky for us he came through that night when he sat in the garden and he saw it comin' if it was any one of us you bet wed be runnin' we couldnt bear the weight of that cruel beatin' lucky they didnt have shotguns cause they best be skeetin' and im not makin this up so dont think your tough when you call my bluff because you sit there with all your fluff and your petty excuse that this cant be true just look and ask yourself why is the sky blue? why do i believe in wind because i can feel it? if you cant see the wind how is it real then? because its a feelin' just like the grace so dont waste your brainspace with the worlds disgrace when you can fill up Love sent from Christ above i always had a woken with a whole in my heart a short story that will go from end to start where i die a man of God honored and trusted but in the begininning i was a soul that was rusted i was young and naive to cool to believe when everynight i thought why does my heart bleed? when i reflected back on that night i saw avatar and i say that pandora place that was so far. you may think its silly but its right on time which is why i rhyme with that tought in mind when you look at how they live the people called "Navi" and we sit and wonder why Daddy left Mommy take a lesson boys and girls pull out your pen maybe we need to break ourselves to start over again because as the saying goes if it aint broke dont fix it well lets turn it around and shatter it to begin with. this is a new year some call it a fresh start but how is it fresh when you have the same heart? its nothing new and you know its not because you know you wont give it everything youve got' your resolutions are plished up ideals that you think are real and you just want to feel like theyll work out but it wont matter because when in doubt youll revert to your old ways like a coquettish girl plays a sad melody of regret is all youll have left so just trust me when i say its in your chest the love of Christ Jesus who descends and frees us please pick up the bible and read a verse i know it sounds obsured but ive wanted to preach this plea since birth. if you want to make me happy dont sit there and pat me dont read this and think that your clap clapping will make a difference because inside your ignorant just pick up and read some ask him to direct and he will project what matter most in your life at that time just trust me why else woukld i make this rhyme?
Welcome class sit down in your chair your about to get schooled. Hold your breathe while i make us all look like foold. now teach what you teach and ill hear your speech but now its my time to rise up and preach the gospel of the Lord this aint no stupid forward text on your phone you receive when your alone this is for real not fake like the way I feel. i fill myself with hate but its so irate that i find myself stuck from date to date i procrastinate subdued by my fate my pace is so slow i cant even breathe i need you to listen to my plea. Just trust in God and give him your life because lucky for us he came through that night when he sat in the garden and he saw it comin' if it was any one of us you bet wed be runnin' we couldnt bear the weight of that cruel beatin' lucky they didnt have shotguns cause they best be skeetin' and im not makin this up so dont think your tough when you call my bluff because you sit there with all your fluff and your petty excuse that this cant be true just look and ask yourself why is the sky blue? why do i believe in wind because i can feel it? if you cant see the wind how is it real then? because its a feelin' just like the grace so dont waste your brainspace with the worlds disgrace when you can fill up Love sent from Christ above i always had a woken with a whole in my heart a short story that will go from end to start where i die a man of God honored and trusted but in the begininning i was a soul that was rusted i was young and naive to cool to believe when everynight i thought why does my heart bleed? when i reflected back on that night i saw avatar and i say that pandora place that was so far. you may think its silly but its right on time which is why i rhyme with that tought in mind when you look at how they live the people called "Navi" and we sit and wonder why Daddy left Mommy take a lesson boys and girls pull out your pen maybe we need to break ourselves to start over again because as the saying goes if it aint broke dont fix it well lets turn it around and shatter it to begin with. this is a new year some call it a fresh start but how is it fresh when you have the same heart? its nothing new and you know its not because you know you wont give it everything youve got' your resolutions are plished up ideals that you think are real and you just want to feel like theyll work out but it wont matter because when in doubt youll revert to your old ways like a coquettish girl plays a sad melody of regret is all youll have left so just trust me when i say its in your chest the love of Christ Jesus who descends and frees us please pick up the bible and read a verse i know it sounds obsured but ive wanted to preach this plea since birth. if you want to make me happy dont sit there and pat me dont read this and think that your clap clapping will make a difference because inside your ignorant just pick up and read some ask him to direct and he will project what matter most in your life at that time just trust me why else woukld i make this rhyme?
Grow Up
Just got inspired i guess.
Look at me kid,tell me what you did you thought that was cool? you just a skid mark when its all damp and dark dont know where that brain of yours should park. When you step in my shoes and you sing the blues dont runaway like you always do. If your scared just ask why spit slow when you can spit fast take your loser attitude back out to the trash cause im tired of looking at your sorry face your wasting my space and cloggin up the brains pace you making it all cloudy filled with hate so just terminate yourself and walk away. Im through today when you not a loser hey hit me up and maybe the big kids will play. but it aint my place to judge looks like you got luck because if it werent for God you best be ducking because id be trucking running you over like you aint got nothing because you sit and laugh and you dont care when you sit there in your nasty chair nad breathe your contaminated air you think your fair but really your not because now that chairs really all that you got. a place to sit back and reflect too bad you couldnt sit back and regret because you walk all bad with your chest puffed out like when in doubt try to beat it out you use and abuse and you just hang loose when reeally your just another dumbstruck goose dont know what to do just like a child left alone in the wild and i sit and watch back from a distance of 10 miles. why 10 you ask because its significant ten is the difference between me and ignorance but you lack the discernment to make the choice you playing with foolishness like its a toy ill talk you later when you aint just another stupid boy.
Look at me kid,tell me what you did you thought that was cool? you just a skid mark when its all damp and dark dont know where that brain of yours should park. When you step in my shoes and you sing the blues dont runaway like you always do. If your scared just ask why spit slow when you can spit fast take your loser attitude back out to the trash cause im tired of looking at your sorry face your wasting my space and cloggin up the brains pace you making it all cloudy filled with hate so just terminate yourself and walk away. Im through today when you not a loser hey hit me up and maybe the big kids will play. but it aint my place to judge looks like you got luck because if it werent for God you best be ducking because id be trucking running you over like you aint got nothing because you sit and laugh and you dont care when you sit there in your nasty chair nad breathe your contaminated air you think your fair but really your not because now that chairs really all that you got. a place to sit back and reflect too bad you couldnt sit back and regret because you walk all bad with your chest puffed out like when in doubt try to beat it out you use and abuse and you just hang loose when reeally your just another dumbstruck goose dont know what to do just like a child left alone in the wild and i sit and watch back from a distance of 10 miles. why 10 you ask because its significant ten is the difference between me and ignorance but you lack the discernment to make the choice you playing with foolishness like its a toy ill talk you later when you aint just another stupid boy.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Move
so i heard this new song "move" by Thousand foot krutch and its really been fueling my faith. i have no idea why but imm back into the bible and it feels good. i had a solid day at kenedy working on some shoulders and a little biceps. ran around playing handball with mikey mike and really comntemplating getting a membership there. Have to call phoenix soon to see whats up with them. :) ive been stressing about alot but lets just pray for that. need to actually start working for some goals nows the best time to start right? sure i miws her but im sure things will work themself out i just need to wise up a bit and Proverbs is doing that for me right now :) score one for Jesus! also MW2 has been pretty sick :)
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Slow And Steady Wins The Race
so today was a slightly good day. Not bad to say the least. hung out with Ryan "McRowen" and Hannah Basham/family. shared a few good laughs and then watched Transformers 2 with My papa. got home looked at some online colleges and possible routes for my life. Need a good paying job much? haha. Off to bed to get up for work tomorrow. hooray!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I Know We Got It Good But They Got It Made
Im going to somewhat begin to blog daily just to see if anyone pays attention really. So comment away!....Not. anyhow Life is an interesting rollercoaster of a time. i wanted to join the marines for a while but my recruiter but he was kind of a jerk. Just didnt really explain the corps really well and was very unprofessional. Yay military robots! I want to pursue some sort of life but i dont really know where to begin it. I have general ideas and good advice from great people but just very hard to be self motivated. Like a stubborn mule. Sometimes i would love to just win the lottery but dont we all! Hooray for being 18 and a loser right? HAH. so struggles with God are consistant as the stars in the sky and I've been somewaht neglectful lately but i feel kind of ok at sometimes which is usually due to high levels of caffeine and low attention spans. As always! I've contemplated moving in with mikey come december but who knwos whats to come in my unexpected twisted day to day life. I work part time at a candy shop so i suppose thats somewhat positive. Its sort of like my false hope that the future will be cool when i get that next paycheck. So immature of me. GROW UP! shit. so many things in my life to manage yet there are really not. we'll see what is and is to come.
Monday, September 14, 2009
I Guess This Is Growing Up.
So I'm 18 and well on my way to nowhere, or so it seems. No I'm not just feeling sorry for myself I'm jut struggling with my family vs. My faith. I had two jobs and quit one because of overschedulin and although it was the better of the two the lesser hour Job is a bit more flexible to fit in a second job granted I find one. I'm tired of my family harassing me about every little thing like calling me an idiot and cracking jokes about he fact that I quit albertsons. I hate when they do things like that. It's all I ever hear because that's how my family communicates is through harassment. I want to get out but to where? Truly is the question. I want to be on yl staff but how? With what support? I guess this is growing up.
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